Sex Dating

Let’s face it. Even if we pretend otherwise, dating and sex are never too far off. These are inseparable thoughts in some remote corner of the mind even when someone is not thinking about it consciously. But, at the sub-conscious level it is always present for why did you begin dating a particular person if it wasn’t for mutual attraction? Even if for the sake of arguing one says that the attraction was more cerebral, sooner or later it would spill over to the physical aspect. If you are dating someone romantically at some point or the other, the sexual angle will come in. And this leads to the question, ‘when’? This query applies to experienced daters, newcomers to the dating scene or someone getting back into the groove after a long time. When should the first kiss be or is it too early for a make-out session and lastly but most importantly, the right time to start a physical relationship.

There is no fixed formula for this and everyone takes things at their own pace. Some may want to fall headlong into a sexual date while others prefer to wait and watch to see where the relationship is heading before committing themselves in this way. Casual dating involving one-night stands or dating just for physical pleasure of course are pretty common and happens all the time. When two people are fairly serious about each other it depends on how fast or slow they want to take their relationship forward. Older people in general are far more likely to delay having sex on a date. The term ‘baby boomers’ applies to the flower power generation when anything went including sex and these people had experienced the sexual revolution in the sixties era. But, with hindsight they have discovered the emotional and physical baggage which is left with this kind of sexual freedom and they are far more prudent when it comes to establishing a sexual relationship. Whereas, the younger generation with their raging hormones may find it difficult to show such circumspection in matters of dating and sex and for quite a few of them, dating would simply translate into sex.

However, fast or slow you may be in matters of sex dating, there are always a few rules which, if followed, will result in better dating or as the case may be, in less heartburn. The first and most obvious one is ‘wait and watch’. Experts advise against rushing headlong into sex even after the first few dates because getting into a sexual relationship right at the beginning clouds your vision and it is difficult to view other aspects of your date’s personality objectively. After sometime and in extreme cases after marriage, you may find that you do not even like that person. In the heat of the moment it is easy to overlook many personality traits which are not compatible with yours and which you might later regret. Too-early sex can lead to undesirable consequences and in the case of jumping into marriage it may be difficult to extricate yourself from the mess. A cautious approach is always best when just getting into a relationship.

It is not necessary that every date which involves sex will lead to marriage or even a serious relationship. This makes it more imperative that before couples start a sexual relationship they should discuss about where their relationship is heading and whether having sex might change it. For women, having sex might imply a solid commitment but men may not see it in that way.

Giving a serious thought about your sexual boundaries will help prepare you when the time comes to get into a sexual relationship or not. Some may not be emotionally prepared when the time comes for sex and if one has certain clues about one’s boundaries, the situation may be better handled. This is especially true for women because they tend to get emotionally involved. As far as men are concerned, it would be helpful to them if they would think about sex with their brains also. Before you go on that first date, set your self limits and try and adhere to them. It always safer to avoid having sex on the first date because you do not actually know the type of person your date is and it will lessen the chances of any unforeseen unpleasantness. Related to this is the cardinal rule that never ever let anyone coerce you into having sex. If you do get involved in sex on your dates it should be mutual and not forced.

Young adolescents especially are susceptible to this type of coercion and every parent should warn their child not to give in to the sexual demands of his/her date if they themselves are not ready for it. Date rape has become very common and teenagers should be careful. Peer pressure also plays a deadly role here as friends may make fun of the teenager if she/he has not had sex already. It is the duty of the parents to have a frank chat with their children and explain the truth about sex instead of hemming and hawing about it. It can save the child physical and emotional trauma if she/he knows the facts of sex.

Sexually transmitted diseases are unfortunate home truths which every one knows about but very few bother to be careful about. Safe sex is always in the interest of both parties and one should not hesitate to enquire about precautions taken or not taken or any history of sexual disease before taking the relationship to the sexual level or as the case may be to the next sexual level. The risk of AIDS is a very real fear and there is no harm or shame in first making sure that there is no such chance of it happening. Precautions should be taken even in committed relationships and their importance in casual dating cannot be over emphasized.

Overall, if two persons are in full command of themselves and know exactly what they are getting into, sex dating can be fun and fulfilling.